Primarily, religion/spirituality provides protection.  According to research the following findings are reproduced consistently over time.  A belief in God provides the following to children/adolescence:

• helps kids stay away from drugs, sexual activity, smoking
• gives moral guidance
• gives them feelings of mental and psychological security
• helps them set boundaries and stay out of trouble
• helps kids feel better about their bodies and physical appearances
• helps girls delay the onset of sexual activity

From Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers

Armed with that information, and added to our personal beliefs, we will continue to carve out time on Sunday mornings to build and strengthen our Family Spiritual Foundation.  I can rely on our church community to continue to provide support and fellowship – and understanding should my son drop the collectiton plate all over the alter this Sunday!

Now, I pray for Divine Intervention in granting me the ability to fit 2 hours worth of “duties” into 45 minutes, when the kids need to be picked up!

• 10.  You take care of yourself, first & foremost.
• 9.  When I ask, you do the dinner dishes without comment.
• 8.  You can fix, literally, EVERYTHING I break.
• 7.  You silently, without reaction, watch me until all my silliness is worn out.
• 6.  You mix up Australian and English expressions, often combining them into non-sense.
• 5. You bought me a weedeater for Mother’s Day.
• 4. You apologize when called for.
• 3.  You make me fresh coffee every morning and when I am not swimming, you bring it to me in bed.  (Refills, too!)
• 2.  Well, somethings you just can’t publicly acknowledge!  😉
• 1.  When push came to shove, you stepped up to the plate.  Thank You.

 

Finally, I was able to begin this book this morning.  I cried my way through the first 39 pages.  I cried as a daughter: relating to the stories of missing out on paternal affection; I cried as a mother: overjoyed with the knowledge that my daughter is receiving what girls so desparately need; I cried as a wife: proud and envious that my husband has the power to make such a significant impact on the life of my daughter.

A recommended read for every father and mother!  In response, next month’s newsletter will feature a father’s corner loaded with tips for fathers – be sure to sign up!!

 

 

Focusing on the “assets and strengths” is an integral part of encouraging my children.  I need to add concrete behavioral things and specific information that will reaffirm the existing assets and strengths.  So I am no longer just cheering them on, I am telling them I recognize what positives already exist and increasing the likelihood that they see those strengths too.  I am identifying attributes they can build on while I watch them blossom with every success!

When you understand the nature of attachment in older children, you realize that shared communication and goals replace the attachment patterns of very young children. The daily schedule communicates the family’s shared goals and allows children to contribute to their accomplishment. Each time he follows the schedule, the child has a small, but cumulative, experience of mastery of his environment.

Follow these simple steps to create a daily schedule for your family.

Step 1 – Analyze Your Day

Do a simple, but consistent time study. The easiest way to do this is to print a daily calendar. Here’s a good one from My ParentTime. Note what each family member is doing at each time of the day. Look for the problem times, and think about how the schedule can be structured to eliminate problems related to behavior, stress, fatigue, hunger, and disorganization.

Step 2 – Brainstorm What You Want

Less confusion in the morning, homework done by dinner, children in bed by a certain hour, family play time, relaxation, a clean house – this is the time to think about what you want in your family life.

Step 3 – Write It Down

Follow the example you see in SuperNanny!

• Get a poster board and a marker, and write it down for all to see. Post it in the kitchen, and tell the kids that you will now be following it. You’re likely to get some opposition, so parents need to stand firm.

Step 4 – Follow the Schedule for a Week

Check the schedule often, and let it guide your days for at least one week.

• Instruct the children to check the schedule and follow it. If you must remind them, do so; but, your goal is for the children to learn to take responsibility for their part of the schedule.

Step 5 – Tweak the Schedule

After the first week, take a look at what is working and how the schedule need changing. Make changes in the schedule, and write it on a new poster.

• Continue to follow your daily family schedule until it is second nature. In a few weeks, you’ll marvel at how this simple tool has changed your family life for the better.